"Is Disconnection the Price of Living in a Hyperconnected World?"

Yep. We're gonna go there. Maybe you're tired of reading about it, but whether you agree or not, this IS a concern in our modern world. For some of you reading this you may 100% agree with the topic of this post, but my question I'll pose to you right now is:

Are you practicing CHANGE?

I've become more aware of it myself over the past handful of years - The DISCONNECT, inability to focus for any length of time and even the inability to have conversation flow is a very difficult thing for so many people today. It's sad. It's scary. And it's impacting our health on various levels including social, emotional and mental health.

Recently I enjoyed a foosball tournament at one of my soccer friend's house, with a handful of soccer buddies. Just as with our subbuteo tournaments (the greatest table top soccer game on earth- from Europe), we have a rule: No cell phones!

The premise is simple; Come and enjoy a night of fun with laughs and good friends. A few of us chat about this often and how much we just enjoy the basic side of getting together, which involves human interaction. Yet it's surprising how some still can't do it. I mean this in a truthful and observational way, not in a "you suck" or pointing fingers way.

It's a legitmate concern in our present day that human beings can't go 30min let alone an evening without feeling the need to pop onto their phones.

Sadly, in people close to me, I'm noticing are changing in a variety of ways and I know for a fact their addiction to their device(s) is the root cause:

The way conversations bounce around...

The way sometimes you can't finish a sentence before someone else is commenting/saying something (without letting you finish your thought)...

The way people aren't ACTUALLY taking in what you're saying because their mind is already onto the next thing...

We're LOSING the ability to have DEEP conversations, MEANINGFUL conversations and because of that we're losing the DESIRE to even HAVE those conversations with certain people.

I've chatted about this with others who have experienced the same thing and it sadly creates the (unwanted) desire to NOT be with those people in particularly fun times because... well... they really "aren't there" anyway. Know what I mean?

We're Missing Meaningful Moments

Life is packed full of small, simplistic experiences that provide memories and awe. Yet so many of us are missing them today. Instead of living in THIS world, we are choosing instead to live in a VIRTUAL world through our devices:

-This summer while scouting for soccer at a U18 girls soccer game, I witness 4/5 parents in front of my assistant coach and I on their phones (while the game was on!). How said is that for these players??

-This past Thanksgiving, Quinte West hosted the U15 National Championships. My Dad and I popped down for two games and it was absolutely awesome soccer to watch. During the U15 boys game (once again, while the play is on) I see an entire section of the lower bleachers of parents and fans ON THEIR PHONES!!!

-While recently enjoying a guys weekend at my cottage, 3/4 phones were on the table during afternoon chit chats. Like clockwork, while someone else is talking a phone is picked up to check and scroll randomly OR to answer a message from someone who IS NOT THERE. Better yet, sometimes the phone caused random conversations mid-way through another one that had no connection whatsoever to the topic at hand. Have you experienced this? Not fun is it?

-Been to a sporting event or concert lately? The cost of things is maddening today, and yet even still, over half the venue is taking in the spectacle through their screens.

This is today's humans. We can't set our devices aside even for 45-60min, let alone an entire part of the day because we are completely ADDICTED to our devices!

*****

If you think I'm just ranting (you're not wrong), but I challenge you to turn up your "tech radar" we'll call it. When you're out with friends/family, when you're at an event, when you're in a public area - have a look at what's happening. Scary stuff! Be aware of your own urges and automatic actions as well.

If you want another experiment to help you see how far one way we've gone, track YOUR usage of your phone. The majority of phones have tracking capabilities of how long you spend on your phone, particular apps etc. I've had clients do this and to their shock, they were spending upwards of 4-5hrs a day on their device (an argument for the culmulative effect!). THEN, as modern humans we complain "we have no time". YES WE DO!! We just have our priorities completely in one direction.

Human connection, memories and moments are an essential part of our deep health. And we're losing that connection. We're missing those moments. I guarantee you, at the end of life, not ONE human will say "Geeze I wish I'd checked my phone more".

... And yet, we live like that's our truth.

I had a client not long ago have his phone crash on him. It made him completely stressed out, frustrated, lost etc... But what added to that was the frustration in himself that THAT was how a PHONE made him feel! "It's ridiculous that this stressed me out to this extent" he said to me. But sadly he's not alone.

If we want to create a healthier, happier more present lifestyle full of meaning, connection, good communication and memories, we have to use the phones/devices as they were intended; as a tool and with intention.

NOT as our everything.

As with all aspects of health; FIND YOUR BALANCE.